Pharma Form Rejection Letter
MegaPharmaCorp
Month, Day, 20__
* Seriously, a black-belt martial artist / skydiver with 30 first-author pubs? How are you unemployed?
**Read: The internal person we were going to hire all along. After all, we trained 'em for this.
***No we won't. We never do. But we think this sounds reassuring, so we leave it in.
****Our motto: Faceless, nameless, blameless.
Month, Day, 20__
Dear (Dr. / Mr. / Ms.) __________________
Thank you for your recent application, which we received (circle: 1 month / 6 months / >1 year) ago. We have reviewed your qualifications* against all current openings.
Unfortunately, we're literally swimming in resumes we have identified a candidate with skills that more closely match** our current wants needs.
Your information will remain on-file with our company buried in an old cardboard box for future consideration. We will contact you*** if something matching your experience opens up.
Sincerely,
MegaPharmaCorp HR****
* Seriously, a black-belt martial artist / skydiver with 30 first-author pubs? How are you unemployed?
**Read: The internal person we were going to hire all along. After all, we trained 'em for this.
***No we won't. We never do. But we think this sounds reassuring, so we leave it in.
****Our motto: Faceless, nameless, blameless.
